04302017

My mom is like….

“Quit that night job. It’s dangerous, the pay won’t be able to cover it if you get mobbed outside or something.”

Self gets day job with a lower pay and she goes…

“Quit that job if you aren’t even paid enough for the job you do.”
My mom is like…

“Stop using that red lipstick. You look like a hoe. Your dad won’t like that.”

I buy a pink cream lippie and she goes…

“Why do you use that? What if that gets in your mouth and poisons you?”
My mom is like…

“Men nowadays are irresponsible and disloyal to their girls. That’s what media does. God will give you a man to love in the right time.

But she’s also…

“You are never going to meet a man if you lock yourself at home.”

I’m telling you my mom is sometimes so crazy, even I can’t understand her sometimes. But she’s a parent. All she wants is what’s best for her child.
But if there’s something about my mom (and my dad) that I hate so much, it’s them not asking their children.

I didn’t finish college and I really don’t plan to go back any time soon. It’s not that I don’t want to study. It’s just that I believe that learning inside a room, inside a building, inside a university, limits me.

And I don’t like that. I’m that kind of person that has a gazillion thoughts in my head swarming, wanting themselves to be freed. More than that, I find myself bored to death listening to someone talk in class with me ending up sleeping. I was already like this since highschool, sleeping during math class, sitting around during PE and health class, fiddling with a microscope during biology, studying on my own during Chemistry, staying in the library instead of being in English class. I was a weird kid, weird, inconsistent and misunderstood according to one of my teachers.

And my mom… She’s the type of parent that doesn’t listen when she’s already decided on something.

She’s been asking me before if I still wanted to go back to school. I said, I want to, somehow. But I don’t know what to take. I used to take Math. But now, I don’t want to. Sometimes I think I want to study anything related to journalism, sometimes I want to take languages. But then again, I also want to study computer engineering. It sounds enticing. But then again, I want to be a psychologist, too. See? I’m troubled.

And just the other day, my mom told me that we’re going to Baguio on Monday to get my files from the university and I’ll have to enroll in in journalism at a state college in Manila. And I was like… “When did we ever plan that?!”
That’s why I hate her.

The things I want to do she doesn’t want me to do. I dreamed about being a teacher and she told me to think of something else. Like when I started blogging, she was against it. When I started liking Korean hiphop, she almost disowned me. When I started working at this media company, she said I was only wasting my time.

The things she wants me to do, I don’t want to do, and will never be interested in. She wanted me to become a meteorologist and I was like, “Never gonna happen”. She wanted me to work at a bigger BPO company and I was like, “I am never coming back to that industry”.

She repeated her travel plans again and I said I’m not interested. Then she started nagging me at what I plan with my life if I don’t go to school. I didn’t tell her anything.

She’s a nagger. And whatever you say will never reach her. She will not listen. She will never understand.

I have plans and I already have them plotted.  Once they’re all done, she wouldn’t even need to worry. I just want to do the things I want to do. I just need to prove to her the things I want, I guess.

Love,

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2 thoughts on “04302017

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  1. I know how you feel. I once had that same experience, but with my dad. But I still continued to do what I wanted to do and at some point, he stopped nagging me about it.
    I wish you luck!

    Like

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